The holiday season is a time to celebrate with family and friends, be thankful for all that you have, and reflect back on the year.
Unfortunately though, in reality, the holidays come filled with stress of all varieties.
It quickly becomes the season for catching the flu that’s going around the office, watching your stress level skyrocket as you run from store to store getting the perfect gifts for everyone, and feeling like an overstuffed turkey at all of the get-togethers.
But I did a poll and found the #1 biggest stressor of the holiday season – by far – had to do with weight.
It didn’t surprise me because I hear variations of that from people all year round, especially when there’s a big, important event coming up in someone’s life, like a wedding, birthday, vacation, reunion, or holiday. That’s why I want to share a game-changing tip that will help you truly enjoy the holiday season as your best self…
When I was in college, this time of year would freak me out. I had so many “food rules” I put on myself to prevent weight gain, that fun holiday celebrations sounded more like a temptation nightmare!
There would be TONS of delicious contraband just sitting there, tempting me to eat it. I felt like I had to tap into all of the willpower and self-discipline I had in me to hold myself back. And yeah it worked for a little, but to be honest, I always ended up not only eating “off limits” foods – but overindulging in them.
The more I told myself I wasn’t allowed to have it, the more I wanted it – of course. The harsh rules took the element of choosing away from me, so even though I’d try SO hard to be “good,” ultimately I’d feel super deprived, the feeling of restriction would get the best of me, and I’d binge. I would eat a giant portion or lots of different “off limits” foods. I’d either go up for 2nds and 3rds on my plate, or sneak-eat it in private so I wouldn’t be judged.
I would even justify like: “oh well I already ate some bad food, damage is done, may as well keep eating, I’ll eat really healthy next week to make up for it!” and self-sabotage. I’d always feel bad and guilty afterward, plus super crazy painfully full (studies back this up!)
It definitely took a lot of the joy out of my holidays, and put a lot of stress on myself and body. Especially because I LOVE food.
I’ve found that there is an overarching belief that generally pops into people’s mind, especially women, and that belief is that the big event would be better, more fun, easier, more enjoyable, they’d be happier, and more confident if they were thinner or more culturally ideal body.
So WHY is it that most women have this common belief, that ultimately triggers a lot of self-sabotaging behaviors? That life would be better, that the holidays or whatever important event would be better, if they were in a thinner body.
A GIANT reason behind this sabotaging belief system is because of the diet-culture that we live in.
We’ve been taught by the diet industry (and are reminded of it pretty much every time we read a magazine or log onto Facebook and Instagram) that our body is the enemy: it isn’t good enough, it needs to be fixed and changed, it can’t be trusted, we need more willpower, and achieving a *quote* perfect body EQUALS our best self. It unlocks happiness, confidence, ease, joy, access to love, connection, success, and overall feeling amazing.
I think that most women, if they really dug deep and were really brutally honest with themselves, would answer yes, they have that belief – to some extent.
This is one of the fundamental storylines that we are fed from a young age. We aren’t born believing this. When we’re children running around – we’re not judging people’s bodies thinking that they’re not beautiful or that they don’t deserve love and happiness. It’s something that we were taught along the way, that we’ve learned. The reason it’s so important to start to identify and call out these cultural storylines, is because they have the power to affect us negatively.
They can consciously or subconsciously alter the way that we relate to our body and food.
They can alter our perception of ourselves which influences the way we feel, the choices we make, and the life we live.
They can tell us that in order for us to show up as our best, to have fun, be happy, confident and joyful, connected and loved, and belong more – we should lose some weight, maybe tone up more too.
If we are operating under the cultural storyline that we cannot be our best selves unless we’re thinner, then it makes sense that when the holidays start to approach, the panic level starts to rise.
Some women don’t really notice it every day, but when those big events and moments that are really important to them pop up in their lives, their inner mean girl speaks up. That voice in the back of her head gets louder, she starts to feel worse about herself, beat herself up, and become more critical of herself, because these moments are so deeply important to her, and she wants to be at her best.
Other women are living in this exact, distorted storyline every day – I sure used to! They’re continually trying to manipulate their food and exercise, and really struggling and battling it in order to try and be in a better body, so that they can unlock their dream life.
If we start to see and call out that this is just a distorted storyline, a diet culture myth that is making us believe that we should look a certain way to be at our best, that’s step ONE to having a truly enjoyable holiday experience inside and out. We need to be able to step outside of the narrative if we’re ever going to get away from the anxiety, self-doubt, pain, and the self-esteem hit that this mindset can induce.
Ok great, but now what?? How does someone even start that process?
It’s something I work closely with my coaching clients on, but here’s a great starting tip to help NOW.
Sit down with a pen and paper, or at the computer, and identifying what it is you really want. What you believe the thinner or more ideal body will get you? Ask yourself, when you feel your best: how are you showing up? How do you dress? How do you behave? How do you nourish yourself? Instead of panicking or feeling the urgency to change your body somehow magically in the next few days before the holidays hit, focus on THOSE things – that list you’ll make – instead.
You’ll start to recognize that the majority of the time, all of the time actually, if you dig deep, your true wants/desires have nothinggg to do with how you look or the number on the scale!
If this post resonated with you, I’d love to know! Please comment below or shoot me a message with 1 thing you do or way you show up as your best self. Me? I straighten my hair, wear clothes that are fashionable/cute, I listen more, I laugh more, I naturally want to eat foods that I know will make me feel good.
