Stress eating can be defined in a few ways. One obvious way is you turn to food to comfort you when you’re stressed. Thinking it’ll help you feel better, comfort, and console you. Relieve your stress at least for a few minutes while you’re eating it…then the problems reappear.

The problem obviously never goes away from eating our favorite go-to stress food (maybe mac & cheese, maybe brownies, maybe ice cream), it’s just a tasty distraction.

But after, when reality sinks in and you realize your problem is still there, often times you may even add to your problem by feeling guilty and remorseful for eating foods you don’t typically eat.

And for me, it was and still is always foods on my personal “do not eat” list.

Another way you can be a stress eater is if you’re a chronic dieter.

Maybe you follow a specific diet or diet-like program (like Paleo, Weight Watchers, or calorie/macros counting). Hear me out on this one.

Diets are stressful.

They are stressful on the mind and on the body. There are rules in place you need to constantly be thinking about and following. Maybe even tracking too in an app or notebook.

You modify your lifestyle just so you can adhere to the rules and make sure you stay on track so you can ultimately reach your goals (per the diet’s advertisements and promises).

But this type of stress, just like the stress from a deadline at your job or arguing with your significant other, causes your body to release hormones that trigger a chain reaction of eating issues for a lot of people. It also can lead to difficulty losing weight or even weight gain. Hormones are in charge of a LOT of tasks in our bodies.

This is a reason why diets generally do not work when people are looking for long term, lasting results.

So what’s the solution for handling stress eating?

I want to say before I get into some tips and tricks is to not expect the urge to reach for your favorite comfort foods when you’re stressed out to ever go away completely. No one is perfect, and no one should strive to be. Forgive yourself if you do end up eating out of stress sometimes.

Author Geneen Roth said: ““Everyone eats emotionally and everyone is entitled to eating foods they crave even when they are not hungry. The difference between them and you is that they don’t punish themselves for hours or days afterward. They eat and then they go on to the next thing. You can do that too.”

There are however some helpful tools besides a fork to deal with your stress and anxiety.

In the time it takes to reach for the nearest comfort, you can take steps to break the cycle, beat stress, and greatly reduce how often you turn to food for comfort in stressful or emotional situations.

Different ones work for different people, you may have to try some to find ones that work.

Food cravings, especially for emotional eaters (I consider stress eating is a type of emotional eating) generally mean you actually want something else. It could be creative stimulation, companionship, more satisfaction in life, or just that you should face your stressor head-on.

Here’s a step-by-step outline to help you bust through your stressors and “feed” your real issue.

Figure out your eating triggers.

Stress of course, frustration, a pressing deadline, diets, chores, arguing, overwhelm, habit, boredom, loneliness? Once you figure out what the real issue is you have a great opportunity to change your stress habits and your behavior.

Break the dieting cycle.

Most people go on a diet to lose weight. I just touched on above how ineffective diets really are long term, plus some damage they can do as well (I’ve been there myself, trust me!). Luckily there are lots of helpful ways to break free from the dieting cycle, and even to lose weight without dieting!

Keep a food journal.

When you feel yourself reaching for food when you know you’re not really physically hungry, do a quick self-check to see what else is going on in your life that might be causing you to reach for the Doritos. Write down what you eat and how you were feeling. You’ll notice patterns will emerge. Once you recognize the pattern you are on a path to start to break it.

Find new “stimulants.”

Once you identified your triggers and see a pattern come through,  it’s time to replace the impulse to reach for food to cope with something else. Read a chapter in a book, catch up on your favorite show on your DVR or Netflix, go for a walk, listen to music, play with your kids/pets, etc. Coming up with a replacement behavior ahead of time will help you when you’re in the moment.

Connect with a friend.

Make a human connection instead of eating. Call or email someone who makes you feel good. Connect. 

Create new habits.

Find a hobby. When you’re caught up in something you love, you forget all about eating, especially if you’re active. Doing something with your hands may keep you from putting things in your mouth. Consider adult coloring books, jigsaw puzzles, or playing an instrument. My husband had always wanted to learn how to play the guitar and ended up teaching himself through online programs right at home. Pretty cool!

Head toward your goals.

Accomplishing goals and checking things off of your “to-do” list is a fantastic feeling and oh so satisfying! Even taking a simple, small step forward the feelings of empowerment and accomplishment provide a satisfaction that begins a cycle of satisfaction – without food!

Find new rewards.

Like most people, you probably eat to celebrate happiness too. Or eat when you’re sad. Instead, find new non-food based rewards such as earrings or tickets to a movie. It can even be as small as a bubble bath or painting your nails.

Natural remedies for support.

Are you familiar with essential oils? They come from plants. Their seeds, bark, stems, roots, flowers, and other parts are processed to extract the purest compounds of the plants in liquid essential oil form. In this concentrated liquid also comes the plant’s healing properties that then get passed along to you when you use them! Certain oils like lavender, bergamot, ylang ylang, and frankincense are fantastic to use to help cope with stress to banish the need to stress eat to begin with.

To make lasting and sustainable change, replace your stress habits with non-food alternatives.

If you do try to make these types of changes but find that you’re not doing it totally consistently – that’s OK! It takes time. Be patient. Don’t give up on yourself.

Remember no one is perfect, and you should not try to be. Just try to tackle each instance with this different perspective and try to make some tweaks.