Halloween, 2009. I was dating my now-husband at the time, and we had gone to Costco and got a GIANT bag of mini-sized candybars – you know the packs that have like Snickers, Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups, Kit Kat, Milky Way all mixed together? YUMMMM!!
Candy bars were not in my regular ‘diet.’ I never ate them, I never thought about them, I never had them in my house, I never actively felt deprived of them…
BUT all of a sudden there they were.
Candy bars were not in my regular‘diet.’ I never ate them, I never thought about them, I never had them in my house, I never actively felt deprived of them…BUT all of a sudden… there they were. Sitting there. STARING at me.
All of a sudden, the candy craving came on HARD! I panicked. I knew I wouldn’t just be able to eat 1. I also didn’t want my new boyfriend to see me go to town on the candy because he’d probably judge me, think less of me, or think I was fat for doing so.
So what did I do??
I waited until he left the room to go to the bathroom and – literally – ran across the room to the candy bag. There, standing up in the corner of the room, as discreetly as I possibly could, I binged on as much candy as I could unwrap and shovel into my face…all while also keeping an ear out for when I heard him coming back so I could stop and quickly hide the evidence.
I felt so embarrassed, so ashamed, and like there must be something seriously wrong with me.
Have you ever found yourself worried about being judged for what or how much you ate? Have you ever eaten in private out of fear of what others might think? Or experienced intense cravings you knew you wouldn’t be able to control until it was far too late?
This Halloween Binge brought on lots of questions for me that I hadn’t thought about before: Why was I doing this?? I’m a smart girl, I know better! Why did I care what he thought? Did I even really care what HE thought, or was it more on me, in my head, and how I judged myself?
One of the big underlying root causes that was fueling this behavior of mine was something I call the pedestal effect. Officially, in studies, it’s called the forbidden fruit effect if you want to look up the research behind it!
Basically when you think of food as bad, or tell yourself you shouldn’t eat it – even if you have good intentions behind it, like ‘candy is bad it has sugar and sugar isn’t good for my health so I shouldn’t eat it’…you’re essentially putting it up on this pedestal and giving that food or amounts of the food all kinds of power over you.
All of a sudden, that food looks extra appealing to you, you think about it a lot, crave it, and it’s super hard to just eat a little and stop. I had been stuck in a deprivation-based mentality around food for yearssss at that point.
I had this vision of how I was SUPPOSED to (“should”) eat, and the best way I knew how to be compliant was to control myself around food with those types of mental rules, using words like bad, shouldn’t, not allowed, only *this* much,etc.
The solution to beating the restrict-binge cycle, is NOT learning how to restrict better or have more willpower.
It’s bringing the food down off the pedestal.
Normalizing that food. Removing that restrictive language.
The sense of urgency dissipates, and it becomes just like any other food! Now please keep in mind, this is very different than just saying to yourself “ok then candy is GOOD and I SHOULD eat all the candy.” There’s whole systematic approach to doing so in a way that feels good that I do with clients in one on one coaching programs.
To start breaking free from this, start asking yourself the types of questions I did earlier to dig down to the root cause of why you’re finding yourself bingeing.
I started questioning all of my food choices. I became aware of all of the conscious and subconscious “rules” I had for myself around food, the foods I shouldn’t eat, the foods I eat and felt crappy about myself after, the foods I felt out of control around. Awareness is the first step!
From there I removed all good food/bad food, should/shouldn’t labels. With labels, comes judgement, guilt, and even more binging in many instances! The more you tell yourself you can’t or shouldn’t have something, the more you want it – in a crazy way. It ties into your body’s basic biology! All that does is put that food up on this pedestal and give it power over you – so this legalizing food is a super important step. You’ll see food as just food, leveling the playing field, and it will naturally take that allure away.
I also continued to dig and see what else might be causing the binges. For example, was I not eating enough food during the way? Was I not eating enough of the major nutrients – healthy fats, carbs, proteins? Did I have limiting beliefs holding me back, sabotaging my best efforts? Turns out, a big YES to all of those, plus more! This portion of things is SO MEGA important.
If I didn’t overcome this, and silence my body’s biological needs first, nothing else would have worked. I wouldn’t have seen the lasting results I have been enjoying for years if I didn’t do this deep work, which is what I’m so passionate about helping my clients work through.
We often think that the binges represent failure on our part, that we were weak, and just needed more willpower. Instead, think of binges as a sign that your body is trying to tell you something is off.
Is this something you struggle with? Would you like help ditching your mental restrictions and developing a healthier relationship with food and your body?
CLICK HERE to book a free breakthrough consultation call.
In this breakthrough consult call, I will help you get unstuck, and finally gain the clarity you need to learn how to: break free from feeling crazy and out of control with food, have a loving relationship with your body, and achieve your happy & healthy body weight – in a sustainable way that doesn’t involve willpower or the banishing of your favorite foods!
If you’re ready for freedom, confidence, and fulfillment and want it fast, then book your session now…because typically the longer you wait to do something you know you should, the more likely life gets in the way and you’ll never end up doing it. Talk to you soon!
