Sometimes when we find ourselves obsessing over eating “perfectly” or 100% “clean,” the reason behind why we’re doing that comes from a source other than just wanting to look good in your jeans or get rid of the extra belly fat.
It’s coming from a not-so obvious, non-food related source.
I want to share with you an example from my life, and how to not let this lead to self sabotage in yours.
[iframe id=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/fIRzMvnTQqI” align=”center” mode=”normal” autoplay=”yes” maxwidth=”700″]
When I was in college, I was pretty miserable. I left home, my friends and family, and everything that was familiar to me in Massachusetts to go to school in North Carolina. I was beyond outside my introverted comfort zone, and didn’t feel like I fit in at all.
That lead me to try to figure out why I was unhappy and didn’t have friends. I started comparing myself to other girls I saw on campus, and came to the conclusion that I didn’t look like them at all. They were so thin and attractive and outgoing, and I was not at all. So I blamed that on why I didn’t fit in and wasn’t happy.
I honestly thought that if I lost weight and looked better, people would like me more – and keep in mind, I’m 5’4 and was 115 pounds all through college, which is not in the “overweight category.”
Since I thought that would help me feel better, my actions reflected it. I exercised 2 hours every day. I only allowed myself to eat foods that were labeled “fat free” and “sugar free,” and I even took diet pills.
I never let myself eat what I wanted. If I had a moment of weakness and ate something on my “do no eat” list of food rules, it lead to a binge-eating, self-sabotaging spiral.
I’d tell myself stories like “oh well, I already ruined today, might as well keep eating this bad food. I’ll just start being super strict again tomorrow or Monday!” I’d feel guilty, remorseful, weak, and blamed my lack of self control or willpower. I’d also of course hit the gym even harder and skipped some meals to make up for it.
What I didn’t realize at the time, but do see now, is that I turned to food and the gym as a way to control the thing in my life that felt of my control: my happiness.
I wanted to shed a light on this topic to get you thinking about this for yourself. Is there an area in your life that feels out of your control? Is it affecting your relationship with food or eating habits in a negative way?
A great way to start exploring this is to think about areas of your life, and how fulfilled and satisfied you feel with them. Look at things like your job, relationships, creativity, social life, physical activity, health, and finances. Identify if any could use some work, and write some small key things you can do to help bring them to a higher level of satisfaction and happiness.
Instead of looking at external factors like food control to bring you happiness, look inward at what else is going on. Eating nutritious foods is KEY for nourishing our bodies but our health and happiness is SO MUCH more than just food related. Other areas like this tend to get overlooked and are often times a missing piece for people.
If you’d like my help exploring this some more, I’d love to chat with you.
